Buona Pasqua

Ahh Easter. I love Easter. I love how we celebrate Jesus rising from his tomb, and when he sees his shadow we have 6 more weeks of winter. Easter! I love Easter!

There he is, the man of the hour!

My sis and I both loved Easter growing up. There was no church-goings-on at our house - remember the OldMan is a big ‘ol Atheist - but we still celebrated the day. We loved to get all gussied up and go to our cousins house. We loved eating all the foods the old man wouldn’t let us eat normally like ham and jello. We also loved eating the Italian foods like lasagna and Pane di Pasqua (that's Easter Bread in eye-talian).

 Pane di Pasqua

And while our cousins got the usual baskets of crap, the old man gave us his version of an Easter basket: made with wicker or twigs by someone most likely in the Amazon, it was filled with all kinds of organic good for you treats like halva, anything with carob or honey and if we were lucky, an AlfalfaMint (yes we used to eat a candy made from alfalfa and mint).

A basket similar to the ones we got as kids

One Easter my aunt and uncle took pity on my sister and me and gave us the most amazing Easter baskets. They were as tall as we were (which wasn't hard), wrapped in pink cellophane and filled to the gills with toys, enormous chocolate bunnies, jelly beans and marshmallow peeps. The best part was the look on my uncle’s face when he saw the look on the OldMan’s face....I mean my dad worked real hard to keep sugar and shit from us and his brother just fucked it up in one fell swoop. And my uncle loved doing it! He just stood there in his sans-a-belt slacks, grinning from ear to ear as he twirled that permanent toothpick in his mouth, watching us devour the heads of those chocolate bunnies. It was the best Easter ever!

Now this is what I'm talking about!!! And this isn't even 

as big as the ones we got!

The OldMan is a painter. He likes to paint nudes and nudes with Jesus. Yup he’s an atheist who likes painting Jesus. Don’t ask me why, he just does. And so growing up we were raised around boobs and butts and Jesus. I mean everywhere you turned, BLAM, there was an ass or Jesus or both. Anyhoo, besides the organic treats we got inside our wicker Easter baskets, my dad always gave us a hand painted egg. He painted an egg for me, an egg for my sis and of course an egg for my grandparents.

I was at his house the other day, discussing which cat food his cats liked best (gravy vs. pate) when I found some of the Easter eggs he had painted for my grandparents. These were done in the 80's and somehow they had survived. I had forgotten how amazing they were. 

Jesus on an egg. The old man uses water colors and then varnishes the egg so it won't smear.

My grandparents helping Jesus off the cross

My grandparents comforting Jesus after 

he is taken off the cross

 Jesus hugging my grandparents

 Jesus hugging his cross

Now here’s one I painted for my dad when I was a kid......

And here is the other side.....

Can you read it....let me help. It says "Hey you kids...keep your fuckin' hands off my paints!...I'm not painting any eggs! Fuck 'em!" YEAH! Happy Easter Dad!
 
The RedHead has no interest in painting eggs. She’d much rather watch Dr. Who or text her friends on her iPad or iPod or ifuckinghatethosethings. I’m hoping one day she'll be interested in it - but until then, I will continue in the tradition of painting Easter eggs. BUT fuck that organic Easter candy shit! I'm an eyetalian hippy with an American taste for crap!  

Buona Pasqua!