Snake Eyes!

Mr.P and I just got back from Las Vegas. I love Vegas! Mr.P and I don't gamble - we go for the the craziness and the energy and the history. We love that there's no time limit here - that it’s busy and bustling all night long. I love that even at Denny’s there’s a rogue slot machine by the front door because it can. You know how much I love crap and Vegas is the crap capitol of the world! My sis graciously offered to babysit the RedHead (and the OldMan), so we hopped in the Maxi-Mini and drove to Sin Sity!

Not many people know it, but Mr.P and I had two weddings. Our second wedding was in Las Vegas at the Graceland Wedding Chapel (Lorenzo Llamas was married here and Jon Bon Jovi too).
  

Hey look, me in a wig and Mr.P dressed as a pimp!

It was officiated by none other than Fat Elvis himself and our reception was at Liberace’s Tivoli Gardens restaurant. Tivoli, by the way, is ‘I lov it’ backwards.

The most amazing room ever!

Since Mr.P and I love a road trip, we decided to drive to Lost Wages and stop along the way. Back in the day, there were some groovy points of interest see. Victorville was where the old Roy Rogers/Dale Evans museum once stood.

It's Trigger!

And in Barstow there was a Harvey House. Harvey House Restaurants were the first restaurants to run along the railroad and employ female waitresses. 

The old Harvey House

The worlds tallest thermometer stands in Baker and the Bun Boy Restaurant and Motel are right next door. We actually stayed there on the way to wedding number 2.

Nothing better than a Bun Boy Burger!

Unfortunately all of these places have shut their doors. The thermometer stands dark and even Liberace has served his last cocktail.

We got a deal on a room at The Wynn and it was amazing - although the locals don’t like it very much since Steve Wynn blew up the beloved Desert Inn to build his homage to himself (Blasphemy!) Our room was beyond spectacular with a view of the strip and a big beautiful bed with down everything and lots and lots of marble. I felt like an extra in Caligula.

But as we wandered around the hotel we realized our Vegas had changed. Grandma wears more sparkle than the Follies Bergere! And we saw ASS - lots of it! Young girls in come-fuck-me-pumps, wearing these teeny tiny skirts with their ass cheeks peeking out. Holy crap it was like an ass fest! An Ass-travaganza! It was Ass-stounding the amount of Ass we saw! We saw more ass than a proctologist. What happened to the days when all you saw were boobs? And to watch these pretty young things, drunk off their tiny-little-hanging-out-of-their-skirt asses, hanging onto their older, middle eastern boyfriends, in their prerequisite loafers with no socks, cigarettes glued to their lips, $200 jeans and cell phones stuck to their ears was just plain icky!

First stop - cocktails at the Fireside Lounge in the Peppermill. Step back in time to the late ’70’s - early ’80’s. A mirrored room flanked with purple and pink neon, pink sofas and a sunken pool with a fire pit in the center of it. It’s the coolest place ever - cross your fingers it doesn’t have a date with the wrecking ball! 

This photo says it all

The next day we checked out the Neon Museum - this is where all the old casino signs go to die. The lobby of the museum is the lobby from the old La Concha Motel. It’s fantastic.

The La Concha in its heyday

The old Sahara sign

The sign from Sassy Sally's

The beautiful Stardust sign from the '50's

Stars from the Stardust

We walked around Freemont Street during the day - I like Freemont Street during the day because it’s less crowded and you can see what the darkness hides. I like the Mermaids Casino. They always have some ladies standing out front wearing Caribbean garb, handing out mardi gras beads. This time they had some women WAAAAAAAAAY over 40, missing some teeth ridden hard and put away sweaty. Fucking awesome! Of course we stopped in for our $1 hot dog and $3 Hamms Beer. We would have gotten the deep fried twinkie but the line was too long. Mr.P got his boobs and ass shot glasses and I got my Las Vegas coasters....I could go home happy now.

Ok we saw a show, Le Reve....Mr.P loved it but truth be told I fell asleep during it. I guess I’m just not used to class. Now if it was Don Rickles or Cher, I’d be awake for days! After the show we took a cab to Ellis Island for dinner. What? You’ve never heard of it? It’s right behind the Bally’s inside the Super 8 Motel. Ask any valet, cab driver, bartender in Vegas and they’ll tell you this place has the best steaks and BBQ in town....and they’re right! Yes, our hostess was missing an eye and our waiter was a couple of sandwiches short of a picnic, but our steak dinner was delicious and it set us back $17.00...for two!

Nothing says class quite like a pat of butter and a tube of cream cheese thrown on top of the food

Bloated from dinner we did some walking on the strip, a la tourista! We meandered thru some of the casinos and had some cocktails. I won $82 on a slot machine at Caesars. I just love that if you’re broke and you want a drink, all you have to do is sit at a slot machine and they'll give you one for free! I love Vegas! We walked to the Mirage and got our Sigfreid and Roy White Tigers t-shirts, we had cocktails at the waterfall at the Wynn....and we forgot all about our traumas and dramas at home. 

Yesssss, a statue of the Masters!

It was finally time to go home and Mr.P actually let me drive the Maxi-Mini home. We got back just in time to argue with the RedHead about her messy room and why there was sticky stuff all over the kitchen cabinets......I can’t wait to go back to Vegas!